In January 2023, Cassandra Black Elk was exonerated after being wrongfully convicted in the death of her infant daughter, StarLight Black Elk.
After losing her child to an unexplained, sudden infant death (formerly known as “Sudden Infant Death Syndrome” or “SIDS”); a year of unjust incarceration; forced separation from her other two young children; and enduring public accusations that she harmed her own child by the state, the media, and members of her own community, the highest court in North Dakota declared her innocent.
“I think it’s time for my story to be told through my words, not everybody else’s words.”
Childhood: Love, Loss, Grief, and Growth
Cassandra Jo Marvella Black Elk, better known as Cassi Jo by her close friends and family, was born in Bismarck, North Dakota, and raised in Rapid City, South Dakota. An enrolled citizen of the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe and great-great-great daughter of famed Oglala Lakota holy man, Heȟáka Sápa (commonly known as “Black Elk”), Cassi’s childhood was at once joyful and painful, exciting and difficult.
“I have good memories from my childhood. My mom and dad didn’t have it all, but they did everything they could to make sure we had what we needed. We did move quite a few times, but throughout it all, they never gave up on their parenting. I was always so proud of them for it.”
Some of Cassi’s fondest memories of childhood are of her time in nature and attending pow wows.
“I think I lived a cool childhood. I loved swimming, I hiked, I went to sun dances. I would go to pow wows all the time and I played hand games. I even made the championships.”
Woven in with the joy and lightheartedness of her childhood was loss and pain. Cassi learned to navigate grief early. Her family experienced periods of homelessness, and she and her siblings were in foster care for periods of time, but she remembers that her parents never stopped dedicating themselves to keeping the family together.
“My parents always made sure we were back with them as soon as they could make it happen.”
Cassi has nine siblings – two older brothers, three older sisters, and four younger sisters. When Cassi was four years old, her infant sister, Angel, passed away from what was then known as sudden infant death syndrome, or SIDS, a tragic foreshadowing of what Cassi would face later in her own life.
“I remember that morning. I remember my mom’s cries that morning I lost my little sister. We didn’t go through therapy, or talk much about my little sister.”
Despite the immense loss, Cassi admires her parents, and especially her mother, for continuing to show up for her children. She sees her mother’s strength in the face of losing a child in a new way after her own loss.
“My mom tried, she tried everyday. I don’t ever remember her not trying. I really admire my mom. She never gave up on us, and always strove to be the best mom she could be. I didn’t realize that pain she had then, and her strength after she lost my sister.”
Cassi would later draw on that example of strength to persevere through her own tragic loss.
Leaving Home, Building a Home
When Cassi was 19, she became pregnant with her first child, DeLeyza. Because she was going to become a mom, Cassi decided she needed to earn her high school diploma.
“I finished school for my oldest. She sat with me in my graduation seat when I graduated high school.”
After finishing high school in 2015, Cassi left Rapid City to escape an abusive relationship and build a new life for herself and her young daughter. She decided to move to Bismarck, North Dakota, to pursue a degree in social work.
“I moved to Bismarck in 2017 with my daughter with just $1,000 to our name, toys and clothes packed in the car. We were homeless at first while we waited for campus housing, but we eventually got approved for a solo dorm.”
Cassi and DeLeyza, or “Leyza” as Cassi affectionately calls her, put down roots in Bismarck. Cassi enrolled Leyza in school while she began college courses.
“We grew together a little bit there. Leyza fell in love with school. She would say, ‘Mom and me will go to school together.’ She really loves school. When she was little, I would read to her all of the time. I even read to her in my belly.”
While Leyza flourished, Cassi struggled to find her footing in school with little familial or community support in Bismarck.
“It wasn’t all that easy for me. I failed a couple of classes along the way. My family system in Bismarck is really not as big as in South Dakota.”
Despite the struggles, Cassi worked hard to find an apartment for her and her daughter to call their own. Eventually, they moved off campus.
“I was going to school and working two jobs. I was so proud of that apartment. Stability is what I want for my kids, so I did what I had to do. I worked two jobs to afford that apartment.”
Cassi’s second daughter, Emmaria (“Emmy”) was born in April 2020.
“Emmy is my wild child. She is strong willed. She is my mini-me with her attitude. She’s really smart, and she understands things. I call her my Wild Oglala.”
Through the tragedy and trauma that Cassi has faced, she credits her daughters with grounding her and motivating her to continue living.
“I am very proud of DeLeyza for the very simple fact that she remains who she was before everything – kind, loving, ready to be friendly to the world. If she doesn’t see anything bad in anybody, then I can do the same.”
When she feels herself falling too deeply into anger, she looks at her children.
“My kids teach me something, even though I think I’m teaching them something. I want to be mad. I want to be mean. But I tell myself, if I can see that my kids see the good in life, then Cassi, you can see the same thing.”